And Baby Makes 3...

We took a class through our health care plan called "And Baby Makes 3..." and cannot be happier with how great it was. We weren't sure going into it what to expect but we came out of it feeling like we could tackle anything.

We first thought that the class was about the changes baby makes to a household when you first bring them home but it was so much more than that, it was more about the challenges a couple faces in daily life, how they handle conflict, how to overcome stresses and challenges (including a new baby) and how to keep the love alive.

J and I are a great team, we really communicate well and solve everyday problems with ease. But we know that we are not immune to the stresses that a baby are going to bring to each other individually and as a couple. We want to keep our relationship strong and healthy because we know that a healthy relationship will help us to be a healthy family.

The class was based on the research and teachings of John and Julie Gottman and their program "Bringing Baby Home."  It was really fun and at the same time eye opening. There was some public sharing, which made me nervous at first since we were the only lesbian couple there but everyone was really nice and welcoming and we never felt out of place. One of our favorite things was the Love Map cards. They were just a way of getting to know each other better and making sure both half's of the couple were connected to each other. Some had simple questions like "What are your partners hobbies?" and some were deeper like what are your partners goals in life?" but they were fun and a great way to stimulate conversation. Our instructor said that her and her husband keep them in the glove box of their car and pull them out on road trips, we are doing the same thing and have already pulled them out once. It was fun to use them again and they kept us awake and entertained on a late night drive! 

We also learned about our emotional banks, our instructor liked to use the analogy of a ball pit. When a ball pit is full of balls and a kids jumps in they are cushioned and doesn't hurt. If the ball pit were empty then the kid could get hurt because there is nothing to soften the blow. The more balls your have in your bank the less hurt you are going to feel when a comment is made to you, whether it was intentionally meant to hurt or not. This analogy has become kind of the running joke on our family now. J made a joke about my sister not replenishing her balls (they like to pick on each other, my sister has a really great sense of humor) and now my sister is over the top complimenting her, which is really funny sometimes. We have all been enjoying the ball jokes. LOL But seriously it makes a lot of sense. We are all guilty of not saying out loud the things we mean sometimes, especially me. I think them but they just don't make it out of my mouth sometimes. A part that I thought was really interesting was that if you are in conflict with someone and they make a mean comment is takes 5 balls to replenish your bank, but if you are not in conflict it takes 20 balls to replenish your bank.

(The lady at Coldstone last night that almost had a stroke when I said "nope, only one baby in there" took like 100 balls from my bank...Bi#&%!)

There was so much more to the class and this post could end up being massive, so I will stop there. But really, we loved the class and if anyone has the chance to take it, we highly recommend it!